What can you learn from a bad running day?

Two days after my strenuous run/hike with John, Jim was ready to test his legs out again, and John offered to watch the kids for us as we went out for a run together. Although I was still sore (like, barely able to walk down the stairs my quads hurt kind of sore) from Friday, I wanted to take advantage of the opportunity to run with my own personal ultramarathon man, Jim.

We ran out in the woods behind our house here, along a route both of us have done many times. It was a great day, early, not too hot, and just a super run. We figured we went about 11 miles. I was feeling pretty good. Better, in fact, than when we'd started. So we planned another, longer run, for the next weekend. This time we actually had to pay someone to babysit the kids, but it was well worth it (they hung out with our friends Adam and Aubrey - an experienced outdoorsman and a nurse - so we felt comfortable leaving the boys with them!).

Well, that run didn't turn out to be as glorious an experience for me as the previous one. For one, I felt like shit. I'm not sure why. Maybe still recovering from the previous weekend. Also, we started too late on a hot, sunny day (8 am) and I forgot my sunglasses and didn't bring a hat. I didn't eat breakfast, and didn't bring my preferred trail food (cliff bars). I was soon standing at the side of the trail feeling like I might pass out. I had a Montana Huckleberry Hammer gel for breakfast, and was able to go on, but never really very well.

We did get to run somewhere we've never run before - up in the Rattlesnake Wilderness Area. We went to the Franklin Bridge - 16 miles round trip. I can't say that I actually ran the whole way. I was feeling pretty poorly and the sun was blasting down on us. I was struggling. I was suffering. Then, on the way back, I realized that we had been running gradually uphill the whole way. It was so gradual, I couldn't even tell. I just knew I was floundering. So, I felt a little better on the way back.

I had a bad running day. It happens. But, it helped me to realize something. I have been pushing myself, trying to get to the point where I can run a marathon, and giving myself a hard time because I'm not there yet. And I've finally accepted that maybe its just not going to happen this year. And I'm not sure I even want it to. Races stress me out. I get so worked up the night/morning before racing, then I get down on myself for not performing better...when really I just want to run to stay fit and healthy and have a good time. Why stress myself out?

One problem for me is that I compare myself with Jim. This is completely unrealistic. Jim, obviously, is not like everyone else. He finds great joy in just running for miles and miles. I'm not sure if it is the same for me. It is a different thing. And that is ok.

So, I've kind of let my marathon goal go for this year. Because in order to get to the point where I can do the one in September well, I need to be doing long runs (like 20+ miles) while on my trip back east to NY and OH. It may be better to just take it easy and enjoy myself.