Wednesday, September 29, 2010

Running makes me feel good. Or at least better

It has been nearly two weeks now since I went to the doctor and found out that I am anemic. I've been working on eating more food, and of better quality, and I'm sure that is making me feel better. I am also taking vitamin and iron supplements. I've had a couple of "good" days, where I don't feel like total crap, but for the most part, I still feel pretty wonky.

One thing that has helped -  *surprise surprise* - is running. The doctor suggested I cut back on the long runs and that was not a problem since I was completely exhausted, but each time that I have gone for a run, it has made me feel infinitely better.

While having both of the kids in school all day has been nice, it hasn't turned out to be the vacation I'd dreamed of all those years. There is still lots to do all day, and the time just flies by. Before I know it, it is time to go pick them up again. However, it has miraculously worked out that the past two Wednesdays (today and last), Jim and I have been able to go for a run together.

Running with Jim is so fantastic because we get to have time together, to have an uninterrupted conversation, and we really hash things out, the way I do in my own mind when I'm by myself. And I run faster and further than I would have if I was on my own (he runs slower and shorter, I'm sure). Jim is currently tapering his training for the Le Grizz, a 50 mile run that he is doing in about a week and a half.

So there we are, running along, and I start to feel like shit. He says, go ahead and turn back if you want to, I'll meet you at home. But I push myself to stay with him. I wonder if this is out of some insane desire to compete or at least keep up with Jim, one which I seem to have been doing, unsuccessfully, for about 15 years now (rock climbing, hiking, judo, kickboxing...), or am I just afraid of running into a bear all by myself? In any case, I feel much better when we are done, and I guess that's what really matters.

Saturday, September 18, 2010

Good news! I'm anemic!

Why, you may ask, is this GOOD news? Because it is a lot easier to deal with than some of the other things that could have been wrong with me. Anemia explains it all. And all I have to do is eat better (which I have been working on anyway) and take an iron supplement. Plus I still need to get more sleep.

I was also advised to cut back on my running mileage until I can get my iron levels back up to a normal level. Which is fine with me. It was so hard to run with all-over body fatigue, feeling like I was about to pass out. It is not surprising to me that I am anemic, since I don't eat red meat and I have already admitted to not eating nearly enough of the right things.

While reading Racing Weight, I've realized that by not eating enough, I have been actually sabotaging myself. I don't have enough energy, and lack of the right foods at the right times has caused my metabolism to slow down, making it even harder to reach my goals.

So I'm pretty excited. I like knowing what the problem is and what I can do about it - I like that there is something I can do about it. I am excited about the future, being stronger and healthier than ever.

Friday, September 17, 2010

Running on Empty

With a combination of disappointment and relief, I canceled my registration for the Blue Mountain 30k today. I said it was because of my hip injury, but that is not the entire truth.

The other day I forced myself to go out and run the first part of the course, even though my hip still didn't feel great. I felt so much fatigue throughout my entire body, it was ridiculous. However, it was a fantastically beautiful course and when I was finished with the approximately 10 miles that I ran, I felt better than I have for a long time. But it didn't last.

Lately, I have been experiencing these strange and terrible symptoms, that may be related to my under-active thyroid, or may be part of a sleep disorder, the worst of these being that I can't sleep through the night, and I feel like passing out at random intervals throughout the day. The truth is, I haven't had a good night's sleep in over 7 years, since I had my first child. Well, maybe I've had a couple. But that's not enough.

So I went to the doctor the other day and I am awaiting some test results. Meanwhile, I barely have enough energy to drive my car, much less train for a long run. I got into my car to leave the doctor's office and the empty gas tank light came on. It was like a light bulb over my head. For years now, I have been running on empty. Now I am literally beginning to stall out.

I've also been reading this great non-fiction book, "Racing Weight," by Matt Fitzgerald. It's about getting in the best condition you can for competing. For years I've wished for a book like this. Because when (if) I ever mention to anyone that I am interested in changing my diet to lose a couple of pounds, people invariably say, "you don't need to lose any weight," even if they haven't seen me in 20 years. They just assume that I must be super fit because I run so much. And I am very strong. But a lot of the time I don't feel so good, and I do have a spare tire, albeit a small one, that I would like to get rid of.

So the other day I had another big "aha" moment. I never count calories, but I was checking out the nutritional content of what I eat and the caloric information was there too, so I took a lot at it. I realized that I am not consuming nearly enough calories, even if all I did was sit at a desk all day. Furthermore, I've been starving for years. It's a wonder my body has been able to perform at all, much less run 1/2 and full marathons.

And so I have come to the conclusion that I have been starving and sleep-deprived for years, and I desperately need to put an effort into recovering before I can train for any long runs. Running is still my exercise of choice. But I need to cut back on my training for now, and focus on some other things like strength training, yoga, etc.

In a way it is a big disappointment. The Blue Mountain 30k is a beautiful and challenging course and I hope to run it someday, maybe with Jim. But in another way, it is exciting to think about the future. If I have been able to do so much with so little sleep and food, just imagine what I can do fully restored!

Saturday, September 11, 2010

The hip strikes again

What is it about signing up for a big race that makes me get injured? I only signed up for it because I was feeling sooo good, then I went for that long road run the other day (not even that long), and I've been suffering ever since. I hate road running! So yesterday I was supposed to run but I was really busy then I took the puppy out for a walk and realized that I could still run if I wanted to, I just didn't want to. I've been feeling really really ridiculously tired, like there's not enough coffee in the world. And my hip has been aching.

I thought maybe I just needed another day off but since Jim has to work all weekend, I won't be able to run again until Monday. Turns out that's probably ok because I think my hip might be messed up again. I am thankful that I had the sense to listen to my body this time and rest yesterday, instead of running. But I can still hear it today and it is saying there is something wrong.

This race (Blue Mt. 30k) was to be my last hoorah before I took two months off from running. I had decided that I would take off November and December from any kind of training, just run whenever I really felt like it. I am looking forward to doing some other kind of exercise and giving my running muscles a break. This hip thing has been a problem for me all year, and I wonder if it will be my running downfall. I will rest for the weekend and see how I feel on Monday.

Thursday, September 9, 2010

First day of school

Because yesterday was my first day of freedom - the kids both in school - of course I went for a long run. I went on the road because I wanted to go down to the school and visit my kindergartener for his lunch. I haven't done a long run on the road in a long time, and now I remember why.

Road running hurts. It is so jarring, pounding your feet into pavement for mile upon mile. When I left the house I realized I had just enough time to get there, running at my usual slow pace. No messing around. So I pushed myself just a little bit harder than I otherwise would have, not letting myself slack off when I felt like being lazy. Instead of being a few minutes late, as I thought I might, I was five minutes early. Wow. Either my math is really bad, or I ran pretty fast (for me).

I felt good. But after visiting my sons at school for lunch for an hour, it was time to run 7 miles home. My hip had started to ache. I forgot to stretch before leaving the house then pushed myself. So I stretched more, rested and drank more water, on the way back, and was quite a bit slower. But still a good pace for me.

I don't think that is a run I'm going to continue to do on a regular basis. It was pretty painful by the end, especially my right foot. I mistakenly wore my "seven mile shoes." I really like these Cascadia trail shoes, but after about 7 miles, they always make my foot hurt. I'm not sure if I can really blame the shoes though. I think it is my toe. I have this one toe that is permanently curled and it can be painful to run on...I've seriously thought about getting it intentionally broken so that it will heal back straight.

I fell asleep soon after the exhausted kindergartener last night, my right side aching. I'm much better today, a little stiff, but I'm going to go walk it off with the puppy on this lovely rainy September day.

Oh yeah, with all the excitement about the kids going to school, I almost forgot to mention that I signed up for the Blue Mountain 30k, (18.6 miles) a trail run on October 3rd. I'm pretty excited about it because it sounds like a great race on challenging terrain, and I've been feeling pretty good. AND I have time to really train. I can run anytime that I want while the kids are in school. Whoo hoo! That said, I'll be taking a rest day from running today.

Wednesday, September 1, 2010

running with it

OK so I get back to Montana, and I'm really psyched to run in this fantastic place that I call home. The weather is great. But I go out for my first run and I'm totally lethargic and made of lead. Then I try it again in a couple of days and I am flying, light as air, feet barely touching the ground.

It is just amazing to me that, after all this time I've lived in this body, it is still unpredictable to me how I'm going to feel on a run. But I am so thankful for those moments that catch me by surprise and remind me why I keep on running, even if I have a bad day now and then. It's because the good days are SO GOOD, they make it all worthwhile. Kind of like parenting, and life in general.

I've been very non-committed to running lately, waiting until both the kids are in school before I make any kind of training plan or even bother to set any goals. And so far, I like it that way.