Running on Empty

With a combination of disappointment and relief, I canceled my registration for the Blue Mountain 30k today. I said it was because of my hip injury, but that is not the entire truth.

The other day I forced myself to go out and run the first part of the course, even though my hip still didn't feel great. I felt so much fatigue throughout my entire body, it was ridiculous. However, it was a fantastically beautiful course and when I was finished with the approximately 10 miles that I ran, I felt better than I have for a long time. But it didn't last.

Lately, I have been experiencing these strange and terrible symptoms, that may be related to my under-active thyroid, or may be part of a sleep disorder, the worst of these being that I can't sleep through the night, and I feel like passing out at random intervals throughout the day. The truth is, I haven't had a good night's sleep in over 7 years, since I had my first child. Well, maybe I've had a couple. But that's not enough.

So I went to the doctor the other day and I am awaiting some test results. Meanwhile, I barely have enough energy to drive my car, much less train for a long run. I got into my car to leave the doctor's office and the empty gas tank light came on. It was like a light bulb over my head. For years now, I have been running on empty. Now I am literally beginning to stall out.

I've also been reading this great non-fiction book, "Racing Weight," by Matt Fitzgerald. It's about getting in the best condition you can for competing. For years I've wished for a book like this. Because when (if) I ever mention to anyone that I am interested in changing my diet to lose a couple of pounds, people invariably say, "you don't need to lose any weight," even if they haven't seen me in 20 years. They just assume that I must be super fit because I run so much. And I am very strong. But a lot of the time I don't feel so good, and I do have a spare tire, albeit a small one, that I would like to get rid of.

So the other day I had another big "aha" moment. I never count calories, but I was checking out the nutritional content of what I eat and the caloric information was there too, so I took a lot at it. I realized that I am not consuming nearly enough calories, even if all I did was sit at a desk all day. Furthermore, I've been starving for years. It's a wonder my body has been able to perform at all, much less run 1/2 and full marathons.

And so I have come to the conclusion that I have been starving and sleep-deprived for years, and I desperately need to put an effort into recovering before I can train for any long runs. Running is still my exercise of choice. But I need to cut back on my training for now, and focus on some other things like strength training, yoga, etc.

In a way it is a big disappointment. The Blue Mountain 30k is a beautiful and challenging course and I hope to run it someday, maybe with Jim. But in another way, it is exciting to think about the future. If I have been able to do so much with so little sleep and food, just imagine what I can do fully restored!